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my friend frustration
my friend frustration has struck again, who have I become? no, certainly not a man, a friend to none. i've lived a lie, now what's the truth? who gave me the right to choose? between nothingness and something new i've given up, i can't compete, i'm all alone there's nothing left for me to say what good do words do anyway?
suffered through another sleepless night where have I gone wrong? now i'm sitting here by myself and on my own. i've known regret, i feel it still. i hope that one day you will let me back into your heart, you know I just can't stay sane without you. i've given up, i can't compete, i'm all alone, there's nothing left for me to say. what good do words do anyway? it's about virtue, a concept long ignored, now i will be the one to pay till my soul's completely torn away.
jwb
i'm sure glad you're home, i thought you were gone, out having fun again. you should see what i've just seen, a feeling i bet you've never had, to feel nothing at all, there's no better feeling than that and by the way, it's been a really fucked up day, it's been a really fucked up day. you do it all the time, you take another line, but you swear it's not an addiction. you should see what i've just seen, a feeling i bet you've never had, to fell nothing at all, there's no better feeling than that and by the way, it's been a really fucked up day.
i've been waiting for you coming after all the same things. you should see what i've just seen a feeling i bet you've never had, to feel nothing at all, no better feeling than that and by the way, it's been a really fucked up day it's been a really fucked up day, you're feeling defeated, you're killing yourself, you're killing yourself for everything that you are on, that beaten feeling, you're giving yourself up, you're giving yourself up, everything's bound to go wrong, when everything's gone.
wake one day
open eyes, nightmare stops awake. lying scared, sweat streams down my face and i'll spend the next three hours just chasing them out of my head. 10am, start the day and i'm dead, i'm dead. breakdown, wait for saturday nite. bloodlet, losing end of this fight. my face goes smashing to the ground. eyes swell shut, black everything out and i let it out. violence, anger only holds me down, so i walked away, left it there and there is where it must stay, it'll stay.
okay so i relinquish all control. who can i hold responsible? i never wanted to think this way. agress, repress, or isolate till it goes away. i still believe that i will wake one day, and i will find, recover those things that once had made me smile. just a simple truth, a hand to reach down, pick me up pull me throughand i won't turn around, no more giving up, no more falling down.
the longest journey north
one more mile unsung, march under the sun, and dropping to the ground. distance, direction a sixth sense, the north is within them, they clutch to their dream dragging, dying from heat, till they break, till the ringing won't cease in their heads. gone, she trudges on, still holding her son she wanted so much more. last hopes, dream of a new home, she now lives them alone, she's numb from the heat, body crushing her feet, till she breaks, till the crying won't cease in her head, the next mile she walks through the dead. crying out...hold on to the door, we can hide on the floor, pull the blankets right over our eyes, kicking and fighting, clawing and biting, those fuckers can't take me, transmit my disease, we'll go blind.
another departure
pissing away the time, what do i care? you said our life's a lie, well i don't feel the same. i can't believe what people say, desperation's gone away, i don't believe i'll see the day when you've got nothing more to say. you complain all the time, well you have nerve, you said our goodbyes, i didn't have my turn. i want to take the time to feel the sun. all my life, to be someone, to be someone. it feels like i can't believe it's gone on so long but, i'll carry on -- carry on.
just another departure from ordinary life, don't know what you're thinking, everything just falls apart. why'd you, why'd you say that?
time for you to go
i can't believe it, the way you've treated someone that i love -- for what reason? how long did you think i'd let this go on? can't you see it, she's trying to leave you don't stand in her way, spare her feelings. you've put her through more than she deserves. when will you ever learn? so now you find yourself with no one left to blame. just look into the mirror to see the face of shame. please understand if it sounds like i hate you, i don't mean to i just have to act on what i know, it's time for you to go.
abusing days are gone, now she's moving on keep those last words for yourself because it's all been said before -- she doesn't have to take it anymore.
it's the end of the world as we know it
lyrics by michael stipe
the life and death of carolina maria de jesus
in a society of poverty, she recorded the atrocity to the dismay of the minority who held the reins of the authority. there's money in reality cause people buy the fallacy that exposure to a world unseen trickles down philanthropy. so she sold it to the papers and they spread it black-and-white. a woman in anonymity turned poster child for plight, till the ignorance bourne of poverty fed her disregard for property and she landed back where she did start. now she's out working for the lord, selling secrets, chasing down the whores. she's the one who so exploited, took the low road and now they don't even care that she's not here.
in a moment of clarity, she recognized the disparaging, truth of her endangerment, in her rise to her prosperity. so she squandered all her royalties on what she deemed necessities, conservatism ideology, acceptance of theology. so she scribbled in her journal, sent it to the company, but the truth of her success destroyed all her legitimacy, and the ignorance bourne of poverty, returned her to disharmony, and she took the flight back to her demise. now she's out working for the lord, selling secrets, knocking at your door. she's the one who so exploited, took the low road and now they don't even care that she's not here. now she's out working for the lord, selling secrets, escalating wars. she's the one who so exploited took the low road and now they don't even care that she's not here. she said, "i'll be somewhere working for my lord"
sullen
another cry for help, in a letter to myself, send it off with no address, there's no one left to tell. i play with my tv, he helps me not to think, blurry screen through glassy eyes, reflecting empty scenes. i can't feel, curled up on the floor, the knocking at the door, the pounding in my head, it makes me wish you all were dead. 14 i blamed no one but you, bore the weight and carried me right through, miles of helplessness, and fears i can't address. the more i lose my mind, the easier to hide, accept the sadness, close the blinds, shut out beams of light. till there's nothing to see ahead, i wreck the dreams i've had, to make the fade-out easier so no one knows i've left.
then i hate, that i can see the end, can't stop the blood i've bled, pounding louder in my head, and i wish you all were dead? know, i ran down the hall, screamed at the wall, i yelled your name, over, over over again, till i could not speak, gasp the air to breathe, my last thoughts of you, moments of truth just one more plea, please hear me please, don't want to go and leave you alone.
change
think you can change? so you think you can change? well i don't expect you to relate i feel like you're gone but i fear that something remains. so you think you're denied? i feel that all the time. if you wait till you wake up you'll find. so sick of today, just feel it slipping away. i felt all along that your glances bring nothing but pain,but you believe in all you're waiting to see yet you can't understand why feel that you're caught in a dream. you've been trying hard, sitting there waiting to be noticed. i can't believe the things that you do, after all the shit you put me through. you've been trying hard, sitting there waiting just to talk about the show. i can't believe the things that you do and after all the shit you put me through you've been waiting there but i can't wait forever waiting. you've been talking about falling in love now i'm hated but it's all deserved, when i say to change, but you think that you're not sad, but you're not sad. you've been trying hard sitting there waiting to be noticed. i can't believe the things that you do and after all the shit you put me through and i say to you -- find someone else you can abuse
system decline
complacence breeds squalor, the sovereigns just fodder, for corporate expansion to quell insurrection and bear the "d" label, financial aid stable and subject to policing by the model democracy. that system, must decline, system decline. international policy, big stick conformity, a forced solidarity and a tenuous peace treaty -- the collapse coup d'etat inevitable, anti-north formidable -- and that's peace? pendulum swings to the right again, fascist military government, pendulum swings back left again, socialist starving countrymen -- and that's right? system decline.
death of the badlands
she lay her tired body against the cold and dusty earth, her fists clenching the soil. she stared into the sky, motionless transcending the physical world she'd known. now here they come... the rumble growing louder, ominous and threatening, she just lay there awake. no motion but the gentle sighing in her chest, her sandy hair dancing over her face. they go marching in, in the name of unity, democracy, just a civilized route to slave brutality.
in all the days of our lives, that all of my people have known, never shall i rescind on the promises to ourselves. iron shoes pounding earth the gunshots strip this home of its former dignity. the last drops of blood have tainted this ground and they stain the shoes of the cowardly.
she lay right in their path, her iron constitution held fast, tears streamed down her face until she too was trampled beneath the feet of this imperial, democratic-peace-building nation-state. this land was ours to share, it's gone -- just the lonely spirits dancing on the air, she couldn't control it, was out of her hands (the massacre, the white flags waved on salty shores)
voices on deaf ears, death of the badlands (the backdrop sounds the call for this white-washed, brainwashed, lopsided war) but she's still here on this trampled, lifeles plateau, and she'll haunt the souls of the cowards who came and took it all away
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